DONT CARE (Music / Lyrics Smith)

Start a war and drop the bomb, Blow yourself to kingdom come, Fuck your mum, eat her out don’t matter what you do you back stabbing wanker
Cos I am done with you
I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care about you, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care about you
Slash your wrists and bleed to death, Cry my name with your last breath
All these years I’ve been a friend and stood right by your side and now that I know ya, I wish that you had died
We Don’t Care

I don’t care what this song is about

PEOPLE LIKE YOU (Music / Lyrics Smith)

People like you make my life a pain, Just out for yourself Want it all your own way
You’re a fucking arsehole You ain’t gotta clue
People like me don’t like people like you
Cos you lie and you cheat, And you steal’ you’re a thief,
You’re no good, you’re a bum, You are filth, you are scum

People like you bore me to death, Talking to you is just a waste of breath
You’re always scheming, It’s you we can’t trust, people like you ain’t like people like us

People who try to worm their way in with you but something just ain’t right about them.

I WANNA KNOW (Music / Lyrics Smith)

Where did all my money go cos I must have more than this, Why am I dressed this way cos I look a fucking mess
Where did they park the van cos I haven’t gotta clue and how do I get home right now cos I don’t wanna get stuck with you
I Wanna Know
Who’s that geezer looking at you cos he’s standing way too close, and what the fucks he say to you cos he’s giving me the hump
And what times this pub shut cos I need another pint, and where can I buy some ready rubbed cos I’m gasping for a smoke.

Too many questions not enough answers especially when drunk, it’s all too confusing

SLUT (Music / Lyrics Smith)

You’ve been drinking all my beer, sniffing all my gear, fucked all my friends while I wasn’t there
Cut up every photo of every girl I’ve ever had
You lie, steal, cheat n fuck, you’re just like me you fuckin slut
You’ve been staying out all night hanging round in bars, getting really drunk
And you’ve crashed my car, you spend all my money and you never pay me back
You lie, steal, cheat n fuck, you’re just like me you fuckin slut
But when I see you naked I forget it all, I drop to my knees and my mouth it starts to drawl
You ask for forgiveness and I just cave right in, You lie, steal, cheat n fuck
You’re just like me you fuckin slut

This one is about unconditional love

It Won’t Suck Itself (Music / Lyrics Smith)

I’ll take you to a restaurant, I’ll take you to the flicks,
We can go shopping and you can take your pick
Early in the morning I’ll bring you breakfast in bed
And all I’m asking for is a little bit of head
Come on honey it won’t suck itself, If I could fucking do it, I’d do it myself
Come on honey it won’t suck itself, I’m telling you honey it’s good for your health

I brought you a fucking puppy some chocolate and some flowers
I sat on the sofa and let you talk for hours, I laughed at all your jokes
I told you that you’re pretty, I even sat through sex in the city
In-between the sheets there’s something we lack, Come on honey just kiss me back
Lying on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood, All I wanted was some oral love
Fuck you honey you wouldn’t give me head, It ain’t too much to ask but now your dead
Fuck you honey it wouldn’t suck itself, Now I’ve been sectioned under mental health

A song inspired buy a Jimmy Carr joke

I Think (Music / Lyrics Smith)

Sitting in the dark Indecision’s eating me, I never know which way to turn, Torment misery
Gotta get out of here but got nowhere to go,
Shall we do this or that, Well I don’t fucking know
I think, I need another drink
I think, I think it helps me think
I think, it’s never black or white
I think, I’ll let the drink decide

Walking down the street as questions fill my brain
Searching for the answers is driving me insane
Running from the outside world I need somewhere to hide
Oh there’s a pub, how’s my luck
I think I’ll go inside

Most of my best decisions where made while drunk

Beating (Music Smith, Ansell / Lyrics Smith)

Come round here acting like a right cunt, won’t shut up giving it all that
Won’t take a hint just keep on yakking, with talk like that you’re going to get a smacking
You think you’re tough
Well I’ve had enough
Come try your luck
You’ll get a fucking beating
Nicking pints staring at my misses, nods and winks, blowing her kisses
Think you’re cool you stupid fool, knock you down with a fucking bar stool
Just fuck off before this gets ugly, everything you do just annoys me
All fucking mouth but no fucking trousers, I think you’ve had too many lagers
You’ll get a fucking beating, broken nose, face all bleeding, no one will help you cos you are a cunt

Your just trying to have a pint with your mates and some cunt comes up and won’t take a hint!

Prove It (Music / Lyrics Smith)

You said that you got real drunk last night
Prove it
And said that you’ve never lost a fight
Prove it
You told me you know Bedford John
Prove it
And you’re sisters got no knickers on
She proved it
Ark at you you’re such a bore
I’ve heard that story a thousand times before
Fantastic stories don’t ever end
Well this ain’t fucking never never land
You said you uncle owns a bar now
Prove it
And your brother drives a real flash car now
Prove it
You said you live in a real nice flat now
Prove it
I told my mates you were a fucking twat and

You proved it
Fuck me, this ain’t right, just sit there spouting shite
Ain’t no point to talk to you, go on, sling your hook
Can’t believe how long it took to see through all your fucking lies

My mate Adam said this to everyone, always made me laugh and annoyed them

Whores Not Wars (Music / Lyrics Smith)

Give them somewhere safe to work, don’t beat them up you fucking jerk
Oldest profession so they say, hard nights work for a good days pay
Whores not wars
Legalize prostitution
Make it part of your constitution
Get yourself some sucky fucky
I’m gunna spank my monkey
(It’s their bodies, it’s my money)
This is Mandy for when you’re randy, this is Sonya, she’ll sit right on ya
This is Honey she’ll take your money and this is Dee and she ain’t free

Whores not wars, Whores not laws

Should I ever have to choose between tits or bombs I know which way I will go! (make love not war you hippy bastards)

Freak Show (Music / Lyrics Smith)
Never been anywhere quite like this, stench of spunk, shit and piss
Stepped into a different world, can’t tell a boy from a girl
It’s A Fucking Freak Show
Stomach churning I’m gunna be sick, there’s a guy in the corner who’s eating shit
There’s spunk on the floor n blood on the walls and a geezer over there just pierced his balls
I wanna leave but where’s the door, I’m sliding on the piss soaked floor
They’d tie me up given half a chance, only wanted some bondage pants
What’s wrong with you people!

Call me old fashioned, but what’s wrong with a good old shag? and it’s also about the dangers of shopping

Some Kinda Idiot (Music / Lyrics Smith)
Get some midnight dynamite and stick it up my nose
I’m getting real drunk and I’m taking off my clothes
Playing all your records while I'm getting off my head
I’m gunna fuck your misses and I'll do it in your bed
Some kinda idiot
Smile on my face and it cannot be replaced

Pop a load of pills Jesse’s got em all the time
It ain't love, it's sex that's on my mind
Running around after some tuppenny-ha’penny whore
I’m coming down it's time to take some more
Three days later and I don't know where I am
Special K for breakfast, I love this diet plan
Maybe I’m too old for this and maybe I should stop
Maybe you should go home and suck your mummy’s cock

A song aboutwhen people think you're an idiot but the laugh is on them!

Won’t Stop (Music / Lyrics Smith)

Friday night and I just got paid, I wanna get drunk and I wanna get laid
Boots are on and here I go to some filthy stinking punk rock show
I Won’t Stop Drinking Till I’m Outta my brain and going insane
Saturday night and I’m well lit, gurning, dribbling and talking shit
There’s a girl to the left and two to the right
And the geezer over there, he wants a fight
Have another line, sends shivers down your spine
It don’t matter young or old, just you drink till you’re outta control

Sunday night and I feel weird, my eyes are red and I’ve grown a beard
Don’t care if I drink alone, there ain’t no way I’m going home

A proper weekend my friend!

That’s You That Is (Music / Lyrics Smith)

See that filthy tramp, That’s you that is
And that ugly fat bird, That’s you that is
That heap of fucking dog shit, That’s you that is
That toothless fucking hag, That’s you that is
See that thieving junky, That’s you that is
That stinking fucking toilet, That’s you that is
All those broken bottles, That’s you that is
That three legged dog, That’s you that is
I never liked you and I never will
Looking at you just makes me feel ill
Your piece of shit life is so complicated
Are you full of shit or just constipated
Hope you die alone with tears in your eyes
And your rancid corpse all covered in flies
You’re a hunch back freak with no friends to call
I wish you’d never been born at all
I’d pay to have you killed if I could afford it
I wish your fucking mother had just aborted

Hear this song, that’s you that is!